The Hardest Part About Marrying A Foreigner


We had high points and low points during the past months but we kept working towards our goal and now it seems we are almost there.

As the cliché goes, we bumped into each other by chance and the rest was about not giving it up. We met in Thailand and got to know each other in Cambodia; we started living together in Colombia and got married in Slovakia. I hope to live many more things in many more places by his side.

Crossing continents for each other, learning languages and discovering different ways our cultures work, getting a job in Colombia and managing to fit into each others families sure came with some difficulties, but that is fine; you need those problems to make sure you know the value of each other. (Cliché, cliché, this article is full of them. Meh. Sorry for that, but our love-story really is that sugar-sweet.)

Photo credits: (c) Jana Plevová

Our true victory was not declaring our love to each other nor deciding we´re getting married; it was rather getting all the papers, one by one, during those last four months we have spent in Bogotá; having the Schengen visa sticker stamped at the borders, shiny&new in F.´s passport; then, getting all the documents accepted by the rigid Slovak officials and finally, when we set for a date, finding a legal translator for the ceremony.

Saying I do to each other was the easiest part of it.

The fight we fought was not against the destiny, but against the bureaucracy.

Now that we are in the final stages of this war – waiting for the approval of F.´s permanent residence in Slovakia – we are apart again.

F. is in Turkey and I am in Bratislava. Getting married with a citizen does not give you the right to stay inside Schengen while waiting for the issue of your foreigner ID. (Ridiculous, I know.) Still, it is a matter of time. We will get there.

I wish the laws that define this process would get a lot simpler and clearer, because as it is now, they are set to make you feel miserable and desperate just too many times. Still, refusing to stop and just pushing and complying to non-sense rules can get you there.

photo credits: (c) Jana Plevová
photo credits: (c) Jana Plevová

If you are in the beginning of such a journey, I wish you the best of patience. And some luck, too.